making friends after 30 is hard
but it’s not impossible. just needs a little intention, a little bravery, and the right room to walk into. let's discuss how.
no one warns you that after a certain age, your social life will start to resemble a group project where no one shows up.
in your twenties, making friends was easy. a roommate, a colleague, someone you bumped into at a bar and bonded over cocktails and shared heartbreaks. friendships formed fast. and deep.
but by your 30s, the landscape completely changes. people move cities. people have babies. people get married. people get divorced. they switch jobs, or simply disappear into a routine that doesn’t include spontaneous “you up?” texts.
suddenly, finding new friends feels weirdly similar to dating—only without an app to match with someone who also just wants to split fries and overshare over wine.
why it feels awkward (and why that’s normal)
adulthood comes with responsibilities, calendar conflicts, and a lot of second-guessing. approaching someone new feels like breaking the invisible rule of “we’re all busy, don’t make this weird.”
you wonder:
is it too forward if i ask her to grab coffee after yoga?
will she think i’m desperate if i say yes too enthusiastically to a casual “let’s catch up soon”?
spoiler: most women feel this way. we’re all craving connection but are too wrapped up in appearing “sorted” to admit it. but if you’ve ever felt that hesitation, know this—there’s nothing wrong with you. adult friendships are awkward to initiate. but they’re absolutely worth pushing through the awkward.
from small talk to something real
you don’t always have to go straight from “hi” to trauma bonding.
but small talk doesn’t have to be… small.
ask interesting questions. not “what do you do?” but “what’s something you’re currently obsessed with?” or “what’s keeping you up these days?”
one of our members recently shared how a casual chat at the coffee machine about astrology turned into a full-blown weekly brunch ritual between her and her ‘new friend’. all it took was a spark of curiosity and a second round of coffee.
the art (and effort) of staying in touch
friendships aren’t just found—they’re maintained. and yes, that requires effort.
but effort doesn’t have to mean hour-long calls or planning elaborate meet ups.
sometimes, it’s sending a meme that reminded you of her.
sometimes, it’s a voice note while walking the dog.
sometimes, it’s just showing up when you said you would.
you don’t need to be available all the time. you just need to be present when you are.
how to not feel fake (even if you feel like you’re trying too hard)
we’re conditioned to play it cool, to avoid being “too much.” but we can promise you — being too much is better than being too indifferent :)
real friendships happen when someone dares to go first. when you say, “hey, i loved our chat—want to grab a meal sometime?”
that’s not fake. that’s intentional.
and chances are, the other person was hoping you’d ask.
keeping up with adult female friendships
adult friendships are less “text me when you get home” and more “text me when you remember i exist”. and that’s okay.
we’re all juggling life. and no one gets that better than women. there will be months where you’re in each other’s DMs daily, and months where one of you ghosts because, well, life.
what matters is knowing the door is still open.
that you can pick up where you left off—no guilt, no drama.
female friendships in your 30s may be quieter, but they’re definitely deeper. more knowing. more "i’ve got you."
okay but where do you even meet these people?
this is the part where we gently (and not-so-subtly) say: we built leap.club for this exact reason.
we saw how hard it is to find your people when you’re no longer twenty-something and free on a thursday at 9 pm. so we created a space—part work, part play—where women could meet over work, over coffee, over yoga, (or spreadsheets).
friendships here start at a workshop, a community lunch, a karaoke night.
and grow into something real over shared ambitions, inside jokes, and the comfort of knowing you belong.
if you're reading this and thinking “i need more of this energy in my life”, join the leap.club waitlist. we’ve saved you a seat.